Vengeance

The San Francisco Giants lost a heartbreaking game last night to the Colorado Rockies 6-5 after celebrity Mariah Carey was called on to throw the last pitch of the game. The Giants were attempting a new gimmick, to let the celebrity throw a pitch in a more thrilling setting than the usual ceremonial first pitch. Giants closer Brian Wilson had an 0-2 count on Troy Tulowitzki with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th inning. The Giants had a 5-4 lead, and there was one Rockies player on second. They decided to bring in the pop superstar to close out the game with what should have been the last pitch.

But sadly, Mariah Carey couldn't find her proper release point and left a floating changeup high over the plate. Tulowitzki hit it hard to left center field and over the fence, giving the Rockies a walk-off home run. Carey left the field to a chorus of boos from the Giants fans in attendance, but stopped by the dugout to grab a microphone and remind them to pick up her new album.

In a post-game interview back in the locker room, Carey was upbeat about the blown save. "Look, it was a tough loss," said a stark naked Carey at her locker. "I left one up in the zone and Troy made me pay. That's what a professional hitter does. Hopefully next time I'll be able to execute my command better out there on the mound. I just want to thank the Giants for this opportunity though, and I thought everyone here in the locker room would be giving me the cold shoulder. But, they have been really nice. Ever since we all showered off together they have been winking at me and saying "nice" over and over."

Carey was cut by the Giants immediately after the game, with Bochy saying that she needs a lot more work before she is ready to throw out a ceremonial pitch again. But despite her awful performance in the game, the Cincinnati Reds have expressed interest in getting her to throw a pitch at one of their upcoming games. "This kid has some potential," said GM Walt Jocketty. "She has a young live arm, that hasn't been worn out by years of baseball training. Also, we like her performance in the shower after the game. We may send some scouts to her home to check that out and bring back some video on her."

SportsComedian.com