The Chicago Bears organization have announced the ceremony will take place this Saturday at the Chicago Zoo where they will lower Benson into the black bear pit at noon eastern time. He will be basted in a combination of sheep's blood and barbeque sauce before the feeding, and his remains may or may not be cooked and served for lunch depending on how much of him is left afterwards. Animal rights groups are protesting the event, claiming the feeding will no doubt lead to intoxication of the animals due to the usually high blood-alcohol content of Benson.
But most local residents are excited about the opportunity to watch someone, whom they have all hated over the past three seasons for being such a huge bust, be eaten alive by bears. "It's gonna be quite an event," said local Gabe Byrd. "I'm bringing my 2-year-old son to the feeding. It's going to be his first time watching a man get mauled to death by an animal. Wow, I still remember my first time, it's something I consider special to this very day. I made my whole family "I Saw The Bear Eat Benson" t-shirts that we can wear to the event. It's gonna be very cool, and they even said we may get to eat a cooked piece of him afterwards. I hope I can get a piece of his 3.6 yard per carry legs, they sure couldn't do much powering past the line, so I bet that meat is real tender."
SportsComedian.com