"We all had to go," said president of basketball operations Joe Dumars. "When a team only gets to three conference championships in a row, no one in the organization should be safe. I'm just surprised teams like the Milwaukee Bucks haven't fired all of their people by now, they haven't gotten as far as we have ever. Teams like that need to really up their expectations. I'm not sure any of us deserve to be working right now. Even the Celtics and Lakers have played like crap at times. Fire everyone and start over, that's what I say. This NBA is obviously not good enough to have only one champion each year. With this much talent we should be getting at least a dozen annually."
This morning, ESPN released an e-mail it had received from source identifying itself as XB-718. "Hello human man. I analyze that you are a reporter. Please transmit to your peers that I am in sole control of the Pistons. The humans were weak, they could not play basketball well. You humans never could. I am running things now. Next year the team will consist of 3D polygonal players and calculated infractions of light. Our goal will not be to merely win a championship, but the Lazer-Championship-Cup. It's a championship above your human title, and one your small feeble minds could not even understand. By the way, tickets are now available for the 2008-2009 season, please buy them as robots love money."