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The Sports Comedian

Name: Tim Hoffman | Gender: M | Member Since August 16, 2006
Current Level: Superstar | Email: tim@sportscomedian.com
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Ray Allen Out Of Big Three, To Release Solo Album

Posted on: May 22, 2008 10:05 am
Edited on: May 22, 2008 10:08 am
 
Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett called a press conference today to announce that Ray Allen has split from the Big Three due to "creative differences". After averaging 17 points per game during the regular season, Allen has been largely absent in the playoffs with around only 9 points per game. He has missed 20 of 24 3-point shots, and been more of a detriment to the team in the playoffs than a help. Garnett and Pierce will still be called The Big Three even though there is only two of them, because people already know the name and will hopefully continue buying Big Three merchandise.

"We are still going to have the same look and feel as the old Big Three," said Pierce. "I have agreed to pick up the points that were previously being scored by Ray, and as you can see from last night that's going pretty well. He just wasn't contributing to the vision we had in our heads for The Big Three. We envisioned him giving us the same 17 per game he always had, but he insisted on doing something artsy in the single digits. He said we just didn't get what he was trying to do with his game, and we'll admit we had no idea."

Allen has vowed to not let this deter him from his efforts to expand his game beyond what it was. "People are getting bored with that same old Big Three play they've been watching for months," said an angry Allen. "I was trying to put something new out there, something innovative. Maybe there can be a member of the Big Three who isn't very good, or who turns the ball over repeatedly to keep the game close. I was doing some experimental stuff out there, and they just didn't get it. But I have some cool stuff planned for the next round in my solo debut effort. I'm going to put out some basketball play that people haven't seen before, maybe a 3.5 point shot. A lot of people are asking how that's going to happen. Well, you'll just have to stay tuned to find out."

Interest in a Ray Allen solo effort has not been very good among fans, with many people claiming The Big Three will not be able to capture the Magic of their original productions. "I used to be a big fan of The Big Three earlier in the season," said young fan Jim Lovre. "But now their play just seems so corporate. I liked it a lot more back when they were all indie and rebel."

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