As can be seen by looking at Peavy's right hand, he obviously has a few problems with using the restroom properly. To get to more on the issue we talked to Peavy's parents in Alabama. "It's true," said Thomas Peavy. "He just never took well to potty training, so we eventually just gave up. He was deftly afraid of toilets, and refused to go near them at all. So the only thing we could do with him was teach him to go in his own hand and then put it in a ziploc bag or something like that."
"Oh, it was so disgusting, I didn't know what we were going to do," said Diane Peavy. "We thought about maybe leaving him on someone's doorstep, or maybe exchanging him for a puppy. You're allowed to do that right?"
"Anyway, then he started playing baseball," interjected Thomas, "His feces-covered hands allowed him to throw a mean pitch I had never seen before. We called it the sh*tball, and it's a breaking ball with a little inside sliding action on it. But the real kicker to the pitch is that the rotation of the ball forces the smell of sh*t into the nose of the hitter before it gets there, making him turn his head away or yell "Ah! F*ck me!" and just swing at the ball to get it away from their face. It made for some vulgar little league games, but it also made him into the Cy Young winning all-star he is today. Everytime I hear a power hitter like Matt Holliday yell "Ah! F*ck me!" I just feel so proud of my little boy."